Virtue of a Monarch
by Whimsical Symphony
Summary: "I won't let it end like this." Cagalli vows to take back her nation from the hands of the Earth Alliance when her father is assassinated. Powerless on her own, and learning she has a brother, her only option is to use ZAFT's power for her own means. She didn't expect to find love to complicate everything. Athrun/Cagalli
1. Soar, Determination

**Virtue of a Monarch**

_Written by Whimsical Symphony_

_Hello, all. I remember the first time I ever watched SEED was when I was probably too young to ever comprehend the powerful anti-war messages it had and be able to distinguish just how deep the relationships in the story were. But nonetheless it was my favourite show and even remains so now. I wrote a fanfiction first when I was thirteen and horribly butchered everything about the series, everything I loved so much about it. Since then, I've been reluctant to write another Gundam SEED story. But here I am, six years later, and I finally think I'm mature enough to be able to build this all properly. I hope you'll give me your support._

_I hope you'll all be able to connect with the characters and feel their emotions. It would please me greatly. Of course this is an AsuCaga, the best pairing of SEED, I think. It was a touching story for them… and I still with bias believe they're together even at the end of Destiny. I don't think such a strong pairing would just waste away. This a strange partial AU, but it will have many of the things we are all used to in the SEED universe. I hope you enjoy and any criticism is welcome._

* * *

**Chapter I ~ Soar, Determination ~**

Cagalli trembled, as if millions of earthquakes travelled through her. Tears fell to the ground, staining it, like dew on blades of grass before the sun rises in the morning, when the skies remain colourless and grey, gloom shrouding over all happiness as time freezes. She pounded her fists on the ground and asked repeatedly, why, why – why did it have to happen? Why did they decide that her father needed to die and kill him so heartlessly when he tried so hard for all the people he loved? Her father never wanted to hurt a fly, always took care of people with such love and kindness that he seemed an infallible, everlasting burning candle. But now his flame snuffed out, as she looked at his face, the smiling face of Uzumi Nara Attha even in death, his face relaxed, even though the red of his Orb uniform grew darker with more stained, crusted blood.

"Father!" Cagalli cried as she hugged his peacefully sleeping body closer to her, trying to get the last of his warmth before it fled off into the stars. "Why did they do this to you? We've done nothing to them, nothing at all! We never wanted to… wanted to fight," her voice dwindled to a whisper. It shook with fury and her eyes burned with suppressed rage and sorrow all at one time. "That damned Earth Alliance! Damn them!"

Fire burned in her, as she thought of all the atrocities they committed, killing Coordinators just because of their differences, killing all who disagreed with them, now even her dear father who stood so proudly against them and their ways, telling them that Orb would always stay neutral. Always.

"We can't stay here much longer, Princess." Cagalli turned to face Kisaka who hurried her along and her tears fell even more when reality hit her. She'd have to leave her father behind in this hellhole to rot, no matter how she wanted to carry him to the ends of the world with her, no matter how she wanted to die with him standing firm with their beliefs as they took their last fall and faced their final liberation from this world.

But she couldn't. Orb wouldn't be neutral anymore. The Earth Alliance usurped it by killing her father. And if she didn't leave now, they'd have no chance, none at all to rightfully take back what was hers, her father's, in a republic like Orb. Cagalli had to take that back for her father somehow, some way, reaching out with a fishing rod with some bait into the great large sea, catching the largest fish and claiming it as hers.

Wiping away her tears with the back of her hand and forcing herself to be strong, to stand tall like a monument in this time like her father always did for her and their people, she turned to Kisaka and stated strongly, "I won't let it end like this."

"Your father knew you wouldn't," Kisaka told her, smiling proudly at the golden princess of Orb, standing so strong for her people. He took out a small postcard slip of paper and handed it to her, watching as her hands shook, though her eyes held firm to his as if nothing could sway her. But he knew, she was still fragile after seeing the death of her father, that though her will was strong, her grief flitted about every which way like a kite did in the wind.

"He knew… He knew he'd die," Cagalli whispered. He tried to hide her from ever knowing his own doom had come after refusing the Earth Alliance's advances so many times, after being the sole barrier that protected Orb. He now protected it with his own body did as a knight on the front lines, his figurative sword in his grip bravely, clinging on even in death. She saw a picture of two babies in the arms of a woman. "What?" she murmured. Turning over the photograph, she saw 'Kira and Cagalli' written on the back. "I have… a brother?" Cagalli asked Kisaka in shock, in awe that she was not alone in this world. "But, I thought I didn't have any siblings."

"Lord Attha took you in, but your birth mother went by the name Via Hibiki, he told me," Kisaka explained calmly, putting a hand on Cagalli's shoulders, trying to calm the young woman, trying to get her to stop her crying. It hurt him too. Whatever she witnessed, she'd been far too young to. War often did that to people, taking away what they loved far before they ever grew ready to let it go, set it free like a bird. "Your twin brother Kira is a coordinator with ZAFT. He doesn't know either, as he was taken away by a different couple when your parents died." He looked at Cagalli's expression and added, "You know what you wish to do, I will support you."

"I want to join ZAFT ranks. It'll be difficult since I'm a Natural, but I can do it. I can pass off for a Coordinator, and I can hide my identity. Father hid me from the media so well no one really knows much about me besides my name," Cagalli told him determinedly. She took a look at her father's corpse and explained with a quivering lip, "I will take back what is rightfully his one day, what is rightfully the people of Orb's from these idiots who just want to kill everyone without any compassion. I don't have the power on my own… and I'll find myself owing a lot to ZAFT when we destroy Muruta Azrael, the leader of the Earth Alliance – that scum. But I'll do it for Father. I'll destroy Azrael with the Coordinators he so hates, and protect all the Naturals as well. And I'll see my brother… I'll tell him… even if he may not even believe me." She walked toward the door. "Many more will die if I don't do this – innocent people who didn't do anything wrong." Cagalli whispered, "Rest in peace, Father. Blood doesn't mean anything when it came to us – you were always my father, always will be. I'll be Cagalli Hibiki for you so I can take back Orb, but at heart, I will _always_ be an Attha," before walking out the door.

Kisaka never before thought he saw his Princess so strong in the face of such danger, in the face of such tragedy played before her like a song in minor key on the piano. They left and they knew one day they'd come back. Even if for now, it belonged to the Earth Alliance, they'd take it back. Uzumi Nara Attha's spirit watched over them, giving their hearts a tender embrace.

* * *

Kisaka brought Cagalli to a small hangar located underneath her home, a small escape pod located in it. "It's already programmed to fly you to Aprilius One. All you have to do is go through security when you reach like all vessels coming in must." He opened up his small bag, and flipped through the papers in it before giving it to her. "All of these papers should get you through just fine."

Cagalli held it to her, shaking, and whispered, "I thought you were coming with me, Kisaka! I can't lose you too…"

Kisaka shook his head and told her, "I must observe the situation here in Orb. I have a small headset in there allowing you to talk to me when you feel the need. I will support you in your decision, Princess, but in order to do that, I need to help you from here."

Cagalli felt numb, as if all the feelings had been sucked out of her by a vacuum, leaving only a void, nothing there but empty space. She nodded silently and stepped into the pod. "You… you have to talk to me, or else… or else…"

Truly, she didn't know what she'd do without Kisaka. He'd been there all her life, protecting her, shielding her from all harm, even playing the role of a near father figure to her when she didn't see her father all that much when she'd been younger. He protected her from arrows raining down upon them and taught her all she knew, about literature, about the world, a circle of words she knew even now. Kisaka helped her found her own beliefs, digging them up from the sand to discover them and place them on new pedestals of their own. He was incredibly important to her, her own treasure because he helped her discover her treasure, and without him, she didn't know how far she could walk on her journey. It already felt as if she walked precariously on a tightrope, rocking and shaking, and without Kisaka to hold her up, she knew she'd tumble into the large, roaring waves below – never surfacing again.

Kisaka nodded and gave her a small smile. Cagalli wondered how far his truth went, when he shut the pod on the outside and gave her a wave from behind the glass, pressing his larger hand then against the transparent material. She placed her hand against the frame then too, against his, before he stepped back and the pod took off, bursting with energy to send her to PLANTs.

She looked in the bag and found the headset with a small device attached. Kisaka didn't leave her any information on how to reach him. Cagalli hoped to God he'd call her. Her tears spilled over then when the world didn't watch her and she could cry in peace for all she'd lost, everything that died so quickly, leaving only her memory of how things used to be intact, the physical shattering into irreparable shards of dust and glass.

* * *

"You sure a girly like you can handle it?"

Cagalli slammed the application form on the table as soon as she reached Aprilius One ZAFT Headquarters. The area itself was fancy, potted plants and glass desks all around, chic and simple, and she saw all the people wandering around in uniform – those who belonged to the military. She wondered where her brother resided now, Kira, his name was. She only hoped that he retained kindness, not the judgmental personality that some coordinators seemed to possess when it came to Naturals, once he learned of her heritage. She still didn't know how one sibling could be Natural while the other, Coordinator. Her past seemed shrouded in mystery now, thick fog hiding it from view, a small cabin in the misty woods.

She frowned at the man at the table, giving her a smirk as if she didn't have the power to do it, as if she didn't have the willpower to go through with her plan, as if the strength in her bones wasn't great enough to push back the oppressive forces of her cowardice and tears trying to wash it all away. It took her a while to reach Aprilius One, and this man didn't have the power to stop her and make her go back to her ruined homeland. The only time she ever wished to go back would be to see it liberated, freed from the chains and shackles the Earth Alliance imprisoned it with.

"I assure you, I'm good enough to handle it, buddy. My name's Cagalli Hibiki. Now, do I have to force that registration out of you?" Cagalli snapped, ready to give the man a right piece of his mind, wipe that stupid smirk off his lips like she'd done to so many before.

"All right, all right, don't tell me I didn't warn you when you go and fail the test," he snickered, typing out a few things at lightning speed on his keyboard and Cagalli envied him for just a moment. She wondered for a moment if she would do well, then thought, screw it – what happened would happen and she'd find a way in regardless of that. "There. You're all registered. Testing will be taking place today as usual, at 1500 hours. You have exactly an hour. Feel free to have food and beverages in our food court," the man drawled, as if he'd done this plenty of times before, tapping his fingers.

"Thanks for your kindness, _sir_," Cagalli bit back sarcastically. "I can see you enjoy your job a lot. You did really well making me feel welcome. I should tell your boss what a great job you're doing."

With the implied threat that she would indeed report just how terrible he was to corporate, leaving the man, jaw agape, staring after her, she made her way to the cafeteria.

Walking down the hallway and looking at all the people hoping to make ZAFT ranks, she didn't expect to feel so nervous. Cagalli didn't have any backup plan if she failed, even though she knew she needed to get to Azrael somehow – ZAFT being the best way to do that. Nausea flitted about her stomach like groups of butterflies flocking together in summer, wings batting faster and faster as they flew higher and higher.

"Hey!" a voice called from behind her. Turning around, she noticed a young man there – one with a kind face. One of the elite ZAFT pilots dressed in red. Cagalli personally thought he looked too kindhearted to be a soldier, and too young. She wondered with distaste, what the war did to them to force such young people to fight instead of experiencing childhood as they should have, playing games with friends, practicing art and music and living day by day feeling the sunlight warm their skin and caressing their hearts. He seemed to attract quite a lot of attention around him, and shied away from it – a blush upon his face. She shuffled his feet a little and then gestured for her to follow him. "You're going to get a bite to eat, right? So am I. Let's eat together," he said with a bright smile, and she couldn't help but return it, giving him one smile back then following him to the cafeteria. He walked quickly, Cagalli noticed, almost wanting to escape all the eyes on him.

"Isn't that Nicol Almafi – part of the Le Cruset team? Wonder what he's doing here…" people whispered amongst themselves, making him flush more, wanting to escape more. It made Cagalli curious too, what such a high ranking soldier was doing here.

Cagalli raised an eyebrow at him when they walked to the canteen. "So, what're you doing here?"

"I'm actually one of the examiners this time, Nicol Almafi… but I wanted to thank you for setting that guy in his place. I'm supposed to be in charge of him but he never really listens to me. Kind of obvious why, huh?" he smiled sheepishly. "Thought I could buy you lunch as a thank you. He always scares away all the new recruits."

"You don't really seem like a soldier," Cagalli answered honestly. It hit her then that this person held her fate and Orb's fate in the palm of his hands, that without his approval, she couldn't get her nation back. Flushing and clasping her hands behind her, she continued quickly, "Not that's a bad thing. Just surprising that someone like you is fighting and all. The war forces us to."

"Really, you hit the nail on the head, Miss…" Nicol trailed off, laughing.

Relaxing a little, she introduced, "Cagalli Hibiki,"still not that used to her new name, or her birth name as she'd have it. She really did wonder why the war forced them all to fight. She knew she couldn't leave Azrael alone or he'd destroy all the Coordinators, and other innocent people like her father. She couldn't leave ZAFT alone because they'd retaliate and try to destroy all the Naturals. She could only fight on this side, grasping futilely at the power she could reach, to try to destroy the instigator in the matter, Muruta Azrael. Hopefully that would stop the war and they could all live in peace like her father wanted, a utopia with no war, no death, just smiles all around as people lived happily, radiating it all unto the clouds.

"Mm… Mother never wanted me to fight but Father did, said I needed to protect PLANTs," Nicol explained a little sadly. "All I want is to have a proper piano concert one day. It's hard with a war going on."

Cagalli looked at him curiously and then said, "The war makes any kind of dream hard," while thinking about her own dream, her father's dream for Naturals and Coordinators to hold hands and live with each other peacefully. "I'd love to listen to you play the piano, Nicol – if you wouldn't mind one person listening being a concert," Cagalli offered sheepishly, really quite curious.

"Of course Cagalli! I'm honoured you'd like to hear me play. I want my music to bring out emotions in people, so I hope you feel joy, sorrow, in its rawest form. But I also hope it takes you away from the war," Nicol explained to her passionately, a far off look in his eye as he thought about his beloved piano.

"I'm sure it will, Nicol." Cagalli smiled at him and the two of them laughed with one another.

During that lunch, Cagalli learned a lot about Nicol and the Coordinators, and found that they fought for the same reasons that the Naturals fought, that everyone just wanted to protect their people. He bought her a nice sandwich and they ate in peace, laughing with each other. Cagalli only wished that all days in the future were like this for everyone, no fear of death, no fear of pain, no fear of seeing children grow up only to be killed in battle, fighting for what they believed in, embracing that belief even after fire engulfed their Mobile Suit and they burned.

* * *

Cagalli bided her time after eating in the waiting room with several other hopeful ZAFT soldiers. From hearing about it from Nicol, people who didn't enter the ZAFT Army through the Academy like he did, had to pass a simulation test, one that'd check how competent they were with a Mobile Suit. He said he wanted to see her pass, and Cagalli wanted to as well. Initially, she dreaded entering ZAFT, especially since she had to conceal her own identity as a Natural in order to avoid bigotry, but if people like Nicol worked in ZAFT, she thought maybe it all couldn't be too bad. He showered her with kindness and told her of his dreams to play the piano for a great, wide audience who'd listen to his tranquil music, swaying like waves, from side to side, forgetting about war and all its horrors. Really, he seemed to her, more like an Orb idealist than a ZAFT soldier.

"Okay, calling number 23, 24, 25, 26, and 27 to take the test in the next room now," Nicol called through the intercom. Cagalli looked at her own slip of paper – 25 it read. Herself, another female and three males walked through the door to the next. Most, except one, all looked rather nervous.

"I hear Le Cruset's team's doing the judging this time, we may not all make it. Well, wouldn't have it any other way, I suppose. I know I'll make it at least," one of the men beside her said arrogantly, crossing his arms, then brushing some blonde hair out of his face nonchalantly. He shrugged, then looked at Cagalli, commenting, "You think you can make it?"

It did sound a little condescending, but he was better than the man at the counter, filing her application. "I have no doubt. Why're you so confident? Are you so eager to fight and kill people?" Cagalli couldn't help but say snidely. "Do you want to kill people that badly?" she questioned passionately, holding her fists at her sides, tightening from fury. It made her angry when she saw people taking lives with such little value, swiping them away from their owners without any regard for what happened, how much pain they must have felt in the final stages of their life. It shamed her to think that humans degenerated to such a point where they took the lives of others without any remorse.

The man frowned and glared at her. "I was just mentioning that I can do this. No need to sound like such a smartass. Sometimes we have to like battle to deal with it," he told her matter of fact. "I have real battle experience. I know what it's like to take a life. I was just transferred to Headquarters from another ZAFT base." Hearing that made Cagalli flinch a bit. The other three paid no mind to their argument, too nervous about their own situation and the test approaching slowly, prowling in the grass like a hunting lion. "I never wanted to fight. Hell, I'd rather be back at home relaxing if I could help it. But my little brother got sick and we need some way to pay for his medical expenses. I'd do that for him without any regrets." He looked a little sad then, his mouth stretched into a thin line. "You have to stop judging people in the army. Some like killing, sure, but not everyone. We have our reasons. Makes me wonder why you're even here."

Cagalli realized that some of the most decent members of ZAFT, she'd met today, ones who just wished to protect their people, to serve as shields for the helpless and vulnerable, to fight, brandishing their swords for their ideals and necessities. Nicol, and this man in front of her proved it. Perhaps she'd been too stuck in her ways, so neutral that she never thought of war, believing it wrong and all the soldiers wrong despite the circumstances they found themselves stuck in tightly like glue, unable to escape the quickly flowing quicksand. After all, who'd _want_ to fight, given the choice? It required people to put their lives on the line, only slimly eluding Death each time, watching as he kept his eyes pinned on their forms, disappearing into darkness.

"Sorry," Cagalli mumbled. "I just… I don't like fighting either. You're pretty good, you know, doing this for your brother." Her apology was quick and swift, and due to her stubborn nature, that would be as far as she'd go. "Sometimes fighting is necessary, I guess. It's necessary for me too. I've had bad experiences with soldiers in the past, so I suppose I'm still a bit antsy trying to become one of them."

When she shuffled her feet around on the tile, looking at the room absently, all the money that went into it – the nice potted plants, white walls and tiles, and leather seats with metal frames, she did it because she didn't expect the man to forgive her. Cagalli admitted herself she'd been little more than insensitive. When she looked up, however, he held out his hand to her, although he frowned still, looking away from her. "I was being stupid as well. Sorry. Just didn't want you judging people." Cagalli took his hand securely and they shook on it. "Miguel Aiman, you?"

"Cagalli Hibiki," she answered giving him a small smile. "It was stupid of me to judge you when you're doing this for your brother. Everyone has their reasons. I'm a real hypocrite." And indeed, she realized she did the exact same thing now as so many ZAFT soldiers did. Who was she to put her reasoning above theirs, when they fought for just as honourable reasons, using their blood, sweat, and tears as ammunition as they struggled to stay alive and keep their reason alive and well, allowing it to flourish into a fully bloomed flower?

"Damn right you are," Miguel huffed again arrogantly. He looked at the others though, looking as if they'd puke any minute. He laughed a little then. "But at least you don't look like you're going to piss yourself. But confidence isn't anything without skill, huh?" He looked at her challengingly. "We have to show those Naturals who's boss. Well, even though we're already superior."

Cagalli wanted to laugh when she imagined his reaction if he learned he'd been speaking to a Natural all along. She hardly liked his disgusted tone of voice and natural condescension when he spoke of her kind as if they were inferior, more like the dust on the bottom of his shoes. But she supposed Naturals acted the same way by rejecting the existence of Coordinators – both sides lay equally at fault instead of shaking hands as they should have, learning more about each other and accepting one another as scholars flipped through the pages of books and discovered more about the world with each passing day. The people themselves weren't bad, only arguing against that which tried to hurt them, like wounded animals rebelling against the hunter. Miguel proved that, and so did Nicol.

She'd have to show him that she could keep up, even as a Natural, even if he'd never know. That Naturals didn't all seek to hurt Coordinators, that people like her existed.

"Yeah," Cagalli replied halfheartedly, brushing off his instance of Coordinator supremacy. "Best of luck to the both of us."

When Cagalli walked into the next room, she saw three people, one of whom was Nicol, the other a bored looking blonde, and the last an perpetually angry looking man with a bob-cut, sitting in chairs around a large, sleek desk. Next to the desks, five machines stood, very similar looking to old fashioned telephone booths, a small door to enter inside with, and the ZAFT emblem written on the side. Looking at the people who entered in alongside her, she noticed how they stood upright, saluting the three. Hastily, she corrected her own position and saluted as well. Nicol and the blonde chuckled, and she flushed in response.

"Our team will be handling the testing today with exception of our final member who couldn't make it. I'm Yzak Joule and I don't think any of you can pass it, but we might as well try." The angry man pointed toward the blonde and introduced, "This is Dearka Elsman," he waved in response, and then Yzak pointed at Nicol who gave them all a gentle, relaxing smile, "and Nicol Almafi. Introduce yourselves – now!" the angry man barked, crossing his arms and glaring at all the people who came in with Cagalli. She had no doubt that they all peed their pants, with exception of Miguel who almost looked used to it, and bored.

Three members went through their introductions, clearly nervous. The other girl also had beads of sweat collection on their forehead.

Miguel stood upright and answered, "Miguel Aiman, sir."

Cagalli followed suit, wanting to show Yzak that she was not to be trifled with, that she could do this. He didn't think any of them could pass, did he? But he was wrong – because she would pass, and she could meet her brother, and she'd get Orb back from those disgusting people who'd stolen it without the slightest ounce of kindness, allowing it now to wallow in misery, allowing it to cry with piercing notes for her to save it. "Cagalli Hibiki, sir."

Dearka yawned, bored, and stated, "Just step in the machines. Honestly, they're the ones testing you all, not us."

Nicol chuckled. "It does seem more like formality, doesn't it?"

"Shut up!" Yzak shouted irritably. "Get in the damn machines!"

No one needed to be told twice, shuffling quickly into the machines. Cagalli stood hesitantly in front of hers before shaking her head and then looking at Miguel, who'd chosen the one beside hers. He gave her a nod of acknowledgment that reassured her more than ever possible, warming her heart and relieving it of all tension like evaporating water. Her skin didn't feel quite so clammy anymore, as she reassured herself that she'd done it all before. How different could it be? She'd flown Mobile Armours, and been trained more than any simple Natural pilot on how to pilot a Mobile Suit.

When she sat in the leather seat, the door shut behind her softly. All the buttons and levers replicated the inside of a Mobile Suit, and the screen would no doubt show her the enemies she had to shoot down. It would be hard, she thought, to shoot down other people – but she had to. She chose this for herself, without reluctance, without doubt, she'd worn a figurative ring on her finger vowing her fealty to her purpose, marrying herself to this fate, this end whatever the world brought upon her. No simple test would bring her down, would never leave her in the water gasping for air, like a starved man gasped in desperation for food, like a lost child cried for its mother.

For Orb, she thought, as she grasped the stout lever tightly and pushed it along its rails harshly. Her machine started up, Cagalli knew, and she also knew that despite being a Natural, skills hones from deep within her, were enough to handle this. She wouldn't be a helpless princess of Orb, awaiting her knight to save her. No, she'd be a warrior, and she'd grasp that final gem, that final victory glittering brightly as she held it in the palm of her hands, bright against her skin.

For Orb.

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Words: 4 934


	2. Accepting Their Existence

**Virtue of a Monarch**

_Written by Whimsical Symphony_

_Continuing this story I haven't updated in a while. Hope it's to your liking. Lots more of Cagalli being awesome, Nicol, Yzak and Dearka, as well as a good chat between Cagalli and Shiho. Athrun and Kira make their appearance at the end._

* * *

**Chapter II ~ Accepting Their Existence ~  
**

Cagalli took a deep breath as the system started up and started to mimic the conditions she'd have to fight in normally. It replicated the conditions for fighting in space, and the screen began to show her enemy soldiers. Looking briefly at the weapons she had equipped, she pulled out the beam saber and launched herself forward at them, as quickly as she could go, much quicker than a bird, with the explosive energy of a rocket. She remembered her determination, as she slashed the first GINN's cockpit, then the next, as the continued to come after her.

Looking to the side, she noticed one aimed a beam rifle at her, so she quickly used the controls to evade it quickly, breathing a sigh of relief when she noted it didn't hit her.

"Okay, come on," Cagalli whispered. Two came at her then, and she blocked the hit of one with her shield, then typing quickly, pulled out her combat knives and stuck them directly in the armour of the opposing Mobile Suit. They exploded then like all the others.

She wondered if her father would be proud of her then, watching her fight like this, watching her train to kill so many pilots like this, pilots with loving families, with treasures they wanted to protect too – because who would enter a war otherwise? Her heart burned with fury, and passion, like a fire ate it alive like a hungry beast, and she once again chanced forward. She cried out when she was hit, and the machine shook in response, and she wondered how many of those it would take for her to die. Her brother dealt with this every day, she couldn't believe it, she thought as she typed quickly, then shot her rifle from afar, destroying a GuAIZ, also firing at her, and several more GINN's.

It hurt, to think that soon enough, she'd be doing all this, killing so many people to retrieve her country back from the hands of the burglars, in the late night, who stole it from her, bagging it safely then, with catlike grace, waltzing away as if nothing happened. Cagalli only wanted everyone realize that Coordinator, Natural, it didn't matter – they all had the same blood, didn't they? They all spilled it when injured, they all cried when they lost something precious to them, and they all had the same regrets when flames engulfed their Mobile Suits, burning skin and spirit alive, deafening their screams like the rush of waves, as they reached out for their family, to the people they loved.

Distracted, she didn't notice then, when a strange Mobile Suit she'd never seen before flew toward her, a brilliant red, utterly daunting and unlike the general Mobile Suits she fought earlier, bulky, heavily armoured. Cagalli held in a gasp and equipped herself with her beam rifle, shooting it, and saw as the enemy unit effortlessly dodged it, then threw two boomerangs at her, ones which almost seemed to home in on her form until finally, one hit her and she cringed.

"What about this?" Cagalli said angrily, equipping her beam saber and rushing forward. The Mobile Suit blocked her with its shield, then simultaneously equipping its own beam saber, she knew she was screwed. It slashed her, and her seat shook horribly. The screen turned red, and she knew that if this had been real combat, she would have died.

It has been so quick, it ended all so quickly. Sweat poured down her skin on her forehead as she thought about it. Did this red Mobile Suit show her powerlessness? Did it show her that she needed to become much stronger? It crushed her so effortlessly, breaking her. Cagalli trembled, wondering if more terrifying powers like this even lay in the Earth Alliance.

Sighing, she stepped out of her seat, then walked out of the machine, feeling mentally exhausted, as if all the energy had been drained out of her as effortlessly as a mosquito sucked blood. Everyone else stood in a line, so she joined them with little thought. Miguel had a slight frown on his lips – she could only assume that the red Mobile Suit killed him too, swatting him aside like an annoying fly.

"Well, out of the group, Aiman and Hibiki pass," Nicol explained. "We never really expect anyone to win against the red Mobile Suit at the end."

"It was unexpected," Cagalli added, frowning a little herself – to be defeated so easily, shamed her as princess of Orb, a pillar meant to stand tall as model for her people, no shifting this way and that from the elements of wind and rain pushing against her.

Miguel nodded in agreement. "Way better than the random GINNs."

"Of course it was better," Yzak muttered scathingly, tapping his fingers on the surface of the table. "That Mobile Suit is Justice. We entered the fighting data of Justice's pilot, our team member, Athrun Zala. He has a track record for being untouchable." He looked at the other three, still standing there. "Do we have to tell you outright? You fail – get out!" he scolded, not at all gentle.

"Y-yes sir," one answered back quickly before leaving the room in tears. The other two followed, the girl and the boy. Cagalli felt a little sorry for him, honestly, but only could pride herself on her own skills, that which she used to pass. Now she lay one step closer, a skipping rock against a lake, one step, than two, and eventually she would reach the far lily pad. Even if given the choice, she thought guiltily, she wouldn't give it up so he could pass. Her country relied on her, her people, and her father's spirit from beyond the grave, beckoning her to turn Orb back into the glorious nation it was.

She heard of Athrun Zala before – son of the Chairman of PLANTs, Patrick Zala, and the fine, beautiful lady, Lenore Zala. Cagalli heard of his ruthless skill in battle, how he could miraculously destroy tens of thousands of GINNs, just within a split moment, stopping time, freezing and shattering it like a world of mirrors. His power frightened many people, his abilities far above any regular Coordinator – and she fought only a mere replica of him, a pale imitation during her test. She shuddered. She wondered if in real life, Athrun Zala was just as fearsome as he was on the battlefield.

"Like what we're supposed to do," Dearka told them both, "since you're knew, you'll have to shadow an accomplished pilot. They'll teach you what you need to do." He looked at Miguel briefly and said, "I guess you'll stick with me. Or…Nicol?" Dearka looked at Nicol, who didn't seem to mind the responsibility.

"Miguel seems a bit to… hard to handle for Nicol, sir," Cagalli told them hesitantly.

"Are you insulting Nicol, woman? That isn't wise." Yzak narrowed his eyes at her, while Dearka silently told him to calm down with a pat upon his trembling shoulders. Nicol didn't look offended in the least. Miguel looked at her with a mix of awe, and. 'don't you know how stupid what you just did was?'.

Cagalli narrowed her eyes right back at him, though she couldn't help but appreciate the friendship surrounding the three. Though Yzak seemed very brash and easily angered, like a ticking time-bomb, when he did grow truly offended, is only involved the direct offense of his friends, if someone underestimated them, if someone tried to harm them. "I didn't mean to say that! I mean that Miguel is an arrogant idiot, and Nicol's far too nice to handle that!" she retorted, without the decency of a verbal filter to spare Miguel, who now looked like a fish out of water. "Don't call me woman. I told you my name already! Should I call you _man_ then, sir?"

"Why you little-" Yzak started to say, holding his fists so tightly they began to shake, almost as if chill invaded him and his fists shivered in response.

"Now, now," Nicol interrupted, thankfully, though he looked a bit tense from all which happened around him. "What Cagalli says is probably right. How about Miguel goes with Dearka and I'll handle Cagalli?"

"If you asked me, this woman seems more arrogant," Yzak began to mumble, though he calmed down and sat in his seat.

"If it means I'll avoid getting you as an instructor, I'll be arrogant. After all what use is an instructor who doesn't even know my name?" Cagalli responded loudly. Before Yzak could explode again, Dearka gave her a look telling her that he appreciated turning down his friend's ego a notch, but if he didn't want one unstoppable, rampaging Yzak Joule after her blood, she'd better stop. Cagalli wisely shut her trap as securely as a safe in the Attha residence.

"Let's just stick with Nicol's plan, eh?" Dearka said in an effort to placate Yzak, who obviously didn't like Cagalli Hibiki. "Those two get along just fine. You won't even have to do anything, Yzak."

"Fine," Yzak conceded. "So I'm stuck again doing nothing, just like Zala."

Cagalli noticed how quickly he calmed himself when in presence of his friends, and thought, though he acted like an idiot, he couldn't be that bad. And Cagalli couldn't give in to her anger now, for her happiness towered far over it, intimidating her anger into submission, the fact that she now could begin with finding her brother, begin her quest to save Orb from Azrael. Orb's people wouldn't have a decorative princess – no, she'd help them, directly, as all monarchs should do, not just stand aside and wait for someone else to bloody their skin permanently. For her people, she'd do the unspeakable, for her people, ensanguining her hands didn't seem quite so red and stark, didn't seem quite so terrifying, brutal and terrible.

* * *

Nicol passed her a small, stylish cellphone before letting her go on her way, giving one to Miguel as well. He said that all ZAFT employees needed one – and he'd call her if he needed her. Cagalli walked to her assigned room later on – told that someone already lived there and she would be her roommate.

Yzak informed her that the woman was a pilot – Shiho Hahnenfuss – which already intrigued her, as she hadn't seen many female pilots so far, no matter how she looked around the rooms, scanned the people like a security camera. Most women seemed to prefer working in the general staff, or working in positions upon warships, dealing with programming and working the ship to a captain's commands. Yzak said to consider herself lucky when she walked into the place. Shiho needed company sometimes, he said, and Cagalli seemed similar enough to do the job. She never had much female company, he said, but he doubted company from an equally manly woman would turn her into a good woman. Cagalli glared at him rightfully, hoping, like lasers, she would bun his skin like scalding hot tea and he'd regret it. He didn't of course, just laughed mockingly at her.

She didn't expect to see a woman so much like her in the room. It was larger than flats new pilots would have gotten assigned, and as soon as Cagalli saw the red pilot's uniform on the wall, she knew Shiho was an elite, so of course had bigger living quarters. This seemed more like a flat, with different connecting rooms and such, a cozy, comfortable place.

"Oh, are you my roommate? Shiho Hahnenfuss, pleasure to meet you." Shiho stood in front of her without any warning at all, dressed in a simple pair of sweats and a tank top, sticking out a hand, cutting straight to the chase, not beating around the bush like that fool, Yuna Roma Seiran, often seemed to do. Shiho took a glance at her face, then remarked, "You look unhappy. Did you meet Yzak? The sexist pig always pisses people off."

Cagalli nodded and chuckled. "I did. He actually told me to come here. He did insult me and you, but he said you might've needed some company. Think he did it out of the goodness of his heart, since he said someone equally manly couldn't be a good female influence?"

Unexpectedly, Shiho flushed a bit, then moved to the white leather couch to sit down. "He was being at least a little nice then. Not like usual. He always gets me so enraged all the time, saying things he purposefully knows are insulting. He knows I'm a good pilot." She hid her face in her hands, trying to hide her embarrassment. Her face burned like meat on a grill, steam might've come out of her ears too. Her colour rivalled that of the apples that grew near Cagalli's complex when she'd been young – deep, red apples complimenting the clear blue skies of Orb, the birds chirping happily as they landed on the trees. Cagalli wondered if the Earth Alliance destroyed those trees then from her childhood, those precious memories she kept close to her like her Haumea pendant, always watching over her, a loving Goddess shielding her from pain, from harm, close to her heart as it thumped on strongly.

Cagalli shuffled, a little uncomfortable, then moved to sit near Shiho. "You like him," she concluded rationally, though she had trouble seeing how anyone could like the unnecessarily angry man. After all, that had been the only reason she'd suspected for anyone getting so red because of the actions of someone else, and her demeanor clearly didn't portray anger of any kind – only sheer embarrassment, and happiness. Cagalli often saw girls her age act like that with men they liked. Cagalli herself never had time or interest in such things, but watching them made her happy, made her wonder what loving someone felt like, whether it felt like she'd burst open like streamers and confetti at a party, whether it would feel as if her entire body warmed like drinking hot chocolate on a wintry, blistery day. She often wondered.

"O-of course not!" Shiho denied furiously. With Cagalli looking at her calmly, and knowingly, she conceded with a sigh. "He's never noticed. And I don't know why I like a bastard like him at all. We used to spend a lot of time together as children. It's nothing big though, I guess."

"I don't see how you can like him either," Cagalli added bluntly. "I think he's got a huge stick stuck up his ass or something." Shiho actually nodded in agreement and they both laughed. Calming down, Cagalli added, "But he's really loyal to his friends. Got all angry because he thought I insulted Nicol. Though I don't see how anyone could be mean to someone as nice as Nicol."

"He's the embodiment of a ZAFT Soldier – talented, hot-headed, passionate, and cares a ton about his friends. I see all his flaws, but I can't help but like him. ZAFT's red really suits him. He's a seasoned soldier… and he's fun to insult, really," Shiho told her fondly, thinking about old memories with Yzak, old memories where they'd banter with one another, him insulting her and her shooting the same right back harshly. She thought idly that they'd never had the happiest relationship, but it worked for them, almost as if they danced a strange square dance while all the others around them danced a waltz, but no matter how outrageous it seemed, it worked for them, perfect chanced jigsaw pieces fitting from opposite puzzles. Her memories with him stayed painted eternally in oils on canvas, glistening brightly, even the funniest, even the worst when they hurt each other with their words as sharp and deadly as knives. Shiho shook her head and told her, "Well no need to worry about that now." She got up and gestured for Cagalli to follow her. She led her to another room with a bed and a desk. "You'll sleep here." Shiho looked at Cagalli and noticed no luggage. "Didn't bring anything with you?"

"Didn't really have time with my situation," Cagalli offered vaguely, and a little somberly. "I have money, I'll just shop here for clothes."

Shiho sensed that the girl had been through something bad. Taking pity on her, because she knew someone would help her the same way had she ever been in a pinch, unable to get herself out of a pitfall, only calling for someone's assistance, she told Cagalli, "You can borrow some of my clothes in the meantime. I have basic clothes and all, and they should fit."

Cagalli smiled at the woman, and she smiled back. "Thanks. It means a lot that I won't be wandering around in a smelly ZAFT uniform."

Suddenly, Nicol called on her phone then and she raised it to her ear, "Hello?"

"Ah, hello Cagalli. I just wanted to invite you to my place later. You can invite Shiho too! I wanted to show you my piano," Nicol told her shyly over the phone.

Giving him a brief agreement, she hung up the phone then told Shiho. "Nicol invited us to hear him play the piano at his place."

"Ah, he must have composed a new song. He's really talented, that one is. Yzak and Dearka should be coming too, and maybe a couple others – Nicol's close friends," Shiho explained to her.

It didn't feel like she was so alone then, having just the presence of someone beside her, making her feel better though she didn't know it, warming her soul, bandaging her bleeding heart, still envisioning the body of her father spilling blood on the floor, dying with a sweet smile on his face, like chamomile and honey. Shiho was a nice person, Cagalli thought, she liked her, and wanted any sort of company she cold grab right then. She forgot how lonely this mission would make her – she couldn't fly by it and expect it to get over in the blink of an eye, like quicksilver, and that she needed no one beside her as she confronted the intimidating form of her fate alone, brandishing a sword and shield. Cagalli needed people, and she knew it all started with people like Nicol, Miguel, Shiho, and maybe even the bored Dearka and angry Yzak.

* * *

"Are you sure we should be entering Nicol's place? He's not home," Cagalli asked Shiho, who held a spare key in her hand and prepared to use it.

They walked up to Nicol's place that night, but he seemed to be out – Shiho told Cagalli he would return soon, and probably wanted to get some of his work done, slaving through his paperwork quickly, giving his signature on sheets which needed his signature and gathering as much tension as he could, like a plucked string on an instrument, before he released it all with the music from his piano, soothingly flowing like a river surrounded by green grass and lily flowers, vibrant underneath the sun and blue sky.

Shiho waved her concerns away dismissively. "Nicol gave me a spare key. He knows me well, it'll be fine. Don't worry, Cagalli."

And so she pushed the key into the slot and turned it, then turning the doorknob along with it. Nicol's flat, Cagalli thought, awed her – lovely ceramic, and art pieces everywhere – in the middle of it all, a baby grand piano finely polished, like precious gemstones, since Nicol cared for it so much. Cagalli walked to a small end table and picked up a pendant like hers, a Haumea stone, though in a slightly different shade. It glinted in the light like glittering fine, white sand, molten like solid honey and just as warm and friendly too.

"Oh, Nicol has that because it's been known that in Orb, it's a symbol of protection. Nicol's always been fascinated with Orb. He wants ideals like them, see, where there's no war and Coordinators and Naturals live in peace," Shiho told her, taking a glance at the pendant that Cagalli held. She frowned a little then, almost as if the thought, she couldn't' quite take into her as a sponge took in water. "I don't throw that idea away, but I don't fully agree either, especially when those Naturals pushed us out into space and expected us to fend for ourselves, rejecting our very existence."

"I dream for a world like Nicol wants," Cagalli offered mildly, putting the necklace down, then sitting on one of the couches. Her hands trembled when she thought of how her father died for his beliefs, like stopping fighting children at a playground, trying to mediate everything, saying that before everything – they were all humans. Many people shunned him, and he worked hard to build his political career. Many people didn't believe him and only took him for a simple minded idealist with no intelligence, when he saw, like a seer, further than anyone: he saw the bloodshed, the unnecessary hate and animosity that occurred when no one accepted anyone beyond their kind, when their kindness only extended as far as people like them, ostracizing those unlike them. He acknowledged the mistakes of the Naturals, telling the Coordinators to move, teling them to relocate like nomads in a desert, now having no home but in space, but insisted that if in Orb, Coordinators and Naturals could love each other, why could it not happen in other places? "I don't want any more people to be killed. It's terrible. We're all human, we spill the same blood, we all feel the same pain when we die," she thought of her father's pain, "I don't want anyone to feel that, Natural or Coordinator."

"You're a lot like him then," Shiho accepted, with no disgust or disapproving tone. "But it's going to take more than idealistic feelings to get everyone to get along, not with all the grudges and hate from the wrongs both sides committed, from the original sin of the Naturals pushing us away. We were kind, even then, we never retaliated," she whispered bitterly. "And now when we do, the EA tries to pin the blame on us again, that we're all demons. We're not…"

"We're not," Cagalli agreed, remembering she had to play the role of the Coordinator. "One day though, I hope everyone will realize that they're all being idiots."

Yes, the world should have been like this idealistic world that Cagalli and Nicol painted, no pain, no death, no grudges from old actions that never were repaid. It should have been a kind world where people didn't have to worry about losing their loved ones each day. The Earth Alliance ruined that for Cagalli, shattered that perfect world that her father worked so hard to forge. But unlike Humpty Dumpty, she knew she could piece it all together again. She had to, for the sake of everyone.

* * *

Athrun sat across from his friend at a table at his family home, eating delicious desserts that his mother made – tarts and cookies, the scent wafting all over the room lovingly, as cupid did before he struck his victims with his enchanted arrow. He wondered how his friends from his team did now, who they passed during the testing, what new talents awaited training now. Or whether they passed no one at all. Someone like Yzak would have been more prone to a decision like that, while Nicol would have felt kindness enough to want to pass everybody, the gatekeeper for a gate all too willing to open to let people into Zaft. Dearka served as the key, the neutral force balancing the authoritative nature of one and the pure heartedness of the other.

"Your mother really does make the best sweets, Athrun," Kira told him happily, letting the delicious sweetness of one melt on his tongue. "No wonder Lacus wants to be here all the time." His robotic bird Athrun made for him responded, "Tori!" in acknowledgment.

"Probably," Athrun agreed. "Not because she's friends with me or anything," he stated sarcastically. "Unfortunately, my mother's cooking is a lot better reason to come visit than I am."

"I'm glad I can stay here for now, Athrun…" Kira said glumly. "After my parents moved to Heliopolis, I thought I'd have nowhere to stay. I didn't want to leave you and Lacus here on PLANTs either. I love mom, honestly, but – it's hard to leave everything behind, so I selfishly requested to stay back here. I also wanted to stay with ZAFT…"

"You forget that our mothers are friends, Kira. And Mother always liked you Kira. She says you're a good influence on me, and she practically thinks of you as a second son since you visited so often," Athrun teased. He flicked Kira on the forehead then. "Of course she would have let you stay here. And it's not as if your parents had a choice. Things have been getting pretty tense between Coordinators and Naturals, so it's not safe it is for known Naturals to live on PLANTs anymore. It's much better for them to live on a neutral space colony. She'll still call every day, and same with your father, so cheer up."

"Thanks, Athrun." Kira grinned at him. "Now I can have the greatest food all the time, right? I mean it's not as if I care about you or anything. I definitely agree with Lacus on that point," he joked, punching his friend in the arm.

"If you keep talking like that, I'll tell Mother to boycott the sweets," Athrun mock warned, a feigned look of seriousness upon his face. His phone rang then. Without looking at the caller ID, he pressed it to his ear and greeted, "Hello?"

"Hello, Athrun. I hope you're not busy. I know you were sorting out Kira's moving details today. How is he, by the way?" Nicol's pleasant voice came on the line, ever kind. Athrun thought he resembled Lacus quite a bit in that sense, always interested in what people wanted to do, always trying the best they could to make people feel as if the war wasn't anything so terrible, washing away their tears with their music as they all spent time with one another, wishing that it would freeze then, encased in an eternal memory with an unbreakable frame.

"He's doing well. Rejoicing that he gets Mother's sweets every day," Athrun responded jokingly, seeing Kira's frown. "And no, I'm not busy. What was it you wanted, Nicol?"

"Actually, I wanted to know if you wanted to get together tonight with everyone. I also invited someone we passed the test for. She was curious about hearing me play the piano too, so…" Nicol trailed off, seeming shy all of a sudden. "I was really happy."

Indeed, Nicol planned these meetings often between them all. Even an angry man like Yzak appreciated Nicol's music, as it soothingly flowed into one's heart and alleviated all wounds and scars like medicinal herbs on a doctor's shelf. They listened and chatted, ate, and played games, and suddenly, they forgot that they rode Mobile Suits, that they'd taken countless lives, their skin so bloody that not all the water and soap in the world could wash it off for good, no matter how hard they rubbed with towels. Nicol had that power, much like Lacus, to make life seem precious, like a pirate hiding it so well in a treasure chest, not like they usually felt when they'd want to give it up so badly in exchange for the countless lives they'd ended. It felt even more sinful when he thought of his own apathy to it now: oh, GINN exploded? That's okay; let's move on to the next one. It terrified him how much of a monster war turned them into, exploding cockpits flames licking the skin inside them, bearing, like Pandora's Box, the screams of the pilots.

"Of course, Nicol. Kira still has to sort out some details and unpack, but I can go," he responded, contentedly to Nicol. "It's nice that someone else is coming too. I'm glad they were interested in your piano playing. I'd say they have pretty good taste."

Indeed, he remembered how cocky some of the new recruits acted, so eager to fight, so eager to prove themselves to ZAFT, standing tall in the face of adversity, never wavering, and eager to control the Mobile Suits quickly and swiftly, treating it all like a game at an arcade. They didn't know the pain of taking a life, that when they destroyed a Mobile Suit, they destroyed someone just like them, someone just wanting to stand for their ideals and not have them washed away like marks on a sandy shore by waves. For a new recruit to like the music Nicol played, a simple enjoyment, they must not have been keen on fighting – on killing people and having the blood never come out, staining skin permanently.

Nicol laughed in reply. "She told me I didn't seem like a SOLDIER… it was a great joy hearing that from someone when I've ended so many lives…" Silence between the two reigned for a moment, a thick meaningful silence where Athrun – and Kira too – understood Nicol's sorrow, because they felt the same. "Anyway, I hope to see you later. Wish Kira well for me."

And then he hung up the phone. Athrun turned to Kira and explained, "He's planned another meeting for tonight. Happy that a new recruit appreciated his piano playing."

"Only ignorant people wouldn't," Kira commented. "His piano playing is much like Lacus' singing. It brings peace from a world where there is none, somehow."

Kira still looked gloomy, as if he hid something from Athrun. Narrowing his eyes, Athrun asked, "Kira, what's wrong?"

"This," Kira gave in. He slid a piece of paper over the table and into Athrun's hands – a picture of a mother and her two babies. Athrun looked at it curiously, then at Kira who looked a bit pale. He spoke, "Mom told me that I have a sister, a twin…"

Then, they became quiet once more, and just listened to the sounds of the clock in his house as it ticked and tocked on and on, and the sounds of Torii flying and singing its name, giving cheer to a situation which deserved cheer, though Kira seemed rightfully stunned, thinking himself an only child all this time. His stomach settled from utter confusion, a wild torrent of emotions swirling like a cyclone, to nothing then. His head didn't feel heavy like it did when his mother told him, he didn't feel it ringing, like he knew all along he had a sister, a kind sister so much like him that together, they made one person, were incomplete without each other – two pieces of a locket. Together, this girl made his soul complete, filling the void he thought empty, itching the strange feeling he'd gotten that he did feel incomplete, like he subconsciously knew someone else stood by him and was born with him on the same date and time. They wailed together, they cried together, and mirrored each other perfectly like an artist himself replicated both sculptures perfectly.

"I only know, her name is Cagalli and she lives in Orb, but anything more and Mom refused to tell me."

The quiet daunted them indeed, but Athrun managed to respond with, "We'll find her."

They only hoped, they only hoped. Kira finally found someone who shared his blood entirely, the same blood he had in his veins flowing, and now wanted to speak to this woman – his dear sister Cagalli. He wanted to find her soon. Athrun wanted to find her for his friend's sake. He needed his sister now that he knew she existed.

* * *

_Words: 5 307_


End file.
